Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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