I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i came on her dog
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
