I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
she pinky promised me she was 18
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
