literally had 100 drinks last night.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
