i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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