we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
