I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
