With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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