Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
