Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I should be sponsored by Trojan
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
