it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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