He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
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I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
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Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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