I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
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So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
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All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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