I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
