Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
