The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
don't judge my taste in strippers
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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