PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
