I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
