fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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