I want to have your abortion
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
