i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
