Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
