I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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