we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
