Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
