I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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