Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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