escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
