and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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