No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i think my mom watched the whole time
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
