I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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