Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
