peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
