very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wish you could order shots online.
nutella sex= disaster
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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