Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
try to milk me bitch
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