This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
