I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I skipped work to stalk him.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
