im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The adults are the big ones right?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
