For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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