i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
