My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found puke in my bra..
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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