I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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