Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
