Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
