tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
