Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
