party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I need moral support for this bender
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
