I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
