The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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