They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
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you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
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She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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