I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
