he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
