Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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