he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
