I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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