Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
