Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
