hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She needs sedatives and a leash
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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