I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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