well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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