am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
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