I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
