i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
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Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
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On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
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He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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