Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
