how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
